so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
