i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
