"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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