you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize