There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
