white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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