Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
