If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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