I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
