And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
