talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
