Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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