i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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