If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this boner is exhausting
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize