I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
