I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
