woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
