Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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