im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
