God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
