i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
