all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize