I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
