did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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