in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Alive.
So much puke
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
