The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
