I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
