one might say we're banned from that church
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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