My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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