Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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