I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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