his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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