East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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