They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You ate ashes out of my bong
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
