SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
