Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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