thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
