I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
