I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
