I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
