I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
