i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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