wakey wakey hands off snakey
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
