Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
