hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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