dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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