Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
How's work?
Spinning.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
