These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
