Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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