I think I am morally bankrupt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
