I looked at my own cervix.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
