So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
