She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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