y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
