She's JV to your varsity
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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