Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
