What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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