boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
