I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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