I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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