While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
