yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize