you traded sex for a burrito?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
